3D COACHING: They Are Always Watching

Months ago, a friend asked me how I came up with my 3D philosophy of dedication, detail, and discipline. She wanted to use it for the new team she was coaching and wondered how I came up with this approach for the players.

My answer was that as much as I formalized it to help young athletes, I needed it to make ME better at coaching and leading. My goal is to always dedicate to lead, to manage the details of the task at hand, and to discipline myself to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. This is the only way I can nurture the ability in myself to deliver those skills and abilities to others. Most athletes, most people, want a leader or leaders they can learn from and lean on.

As I pondered these thoughts the other day, I was watching some sports highlights on YouTube. I started with Michael Jordan highlights, then watched great plays from college football, and then tuned to highlight films of potential scholarship players in basketball and football. I clicked the wrong link and I got something like “coaches gone wrong (not the real title).” This was a collection of videos where coaches lost their cool and composure in the heat of the competition.

One coach threw a chair onto the basketball court to protest a call AFTER he was restrained from throwing a chair to protest a call. One coach berated an official giving a game ejection after her player’s unsportsmanlike conduct injured a player from the other team. The worst I saw was a recreation league coach hitting a player who he blamed for the team’s poor performance. These are all horrible events and I do not have to tell you that I did not watch much of those videos.

But what little I did watch reminded me that the players are always WATCHING the coach. We coaches need to make sure that what they see is professional, appropriate, adult behavior.

I believe most players are connected and committed to their coach and they want to please her or him. When a coach acts out and forgets how to behave in a sportsmanlike manner, the players are WATCHING. I remember a year when I watched a coach on the sidelines berating the official for several minutes before one of his players started berating the official.

Please do not think I am saying I am perfect. I remember coaching a recreation league game many years ago and I thought the calls were horrible. Just as I started to throw my hat on the field in anger, I happened to make eye contact with a player. He was WATCHING. He stared straight in my eyes. Fortunately, I did not throw the hat and I swallowed whatever words I was going to say. It helped me to keep my wits about me. That lesson is with me every day.

I know coaches sometimes want a penalty to possibly get their team going, but even that can be done with style and respect. I have seen coaches in various sports do this, but the good ones know how to do it without disrespecting the official. For instance, if I am coaching a football game and I want what I refer to as an “energy” penalty called, I just walk too far out on the field during play and I do not heed the official’s warning to get back. I get the penalty, I say it is not fair, and the players get new energy. That is how I do it.

The point is that whatever coaches do, their players are WATCHING. They look up to you. Always do the right thing: dedication, detail, DISCIPLINE!