Right Fit Leading: Leaders Must Create Relationships

Last week I wrote about emotional intelligence in the workplace and the benefits that can be derived from its use. Developing leaders is about creating and nurturing relationships.

Leaders in leadership development courses are taught to control emotions, take responsibility, think before acting, control all types of communication, and reduce stressful situations. In terms of controlling emotions, it is important to clarify that EI specifies embracing emotions and taking the appropriate action based on your emotions and the emotions of those around you.

What leadership development training sometimes misses is the cultivation of relationships. How many times has the boss gone off to training and come back with grand ideas for change while the workers ensured business as usual? How many times have workers gone off to training and had no opportunity to share what they learned? In both cases, the leadership development value can be lost when the course is over.

I am in favor of team training and role reversal where leaders and team members can bond and grow as a unit. One way to do this in training is to specify a task that must be completed and a report that must be done within strict time limits. The trick is to make a non-leader the boss and only give the details, the end state, and the reporting requirements to that person. The new boss then “trains” the team and accomplishes the task. Of course, there will be challenges and maybe even uncomfortable situations, but an experienced moderator can help the team through those times. This would of course be followed by a detailed outbrief led by the moderator.

Using this method, the team comes back from the training with a better understanding of each other. This understanding is important to building your cohesive unit that not only understands each other, but that has found a way to manage the tough times.

Whether your organization uses this approach or some other one, I suggest you keep Communication Accommodation Theory as the foundation of your efforts to bond the team together. The theory shows you how to adjust verbal and nonverbal interactions while emphasizing or minimizing differences between participants. These interactions use language, context, identity, and intergroup and interpersonal factors to find common ground.

I suggest that leadership development is a team activity that, done well, creates great relationships.